The humans enter the garden through the gate. Feline breakfasts are dispensed into dishes. Priority is the garden family, boss of which is The Cat – matriarch and tortoiseshell alpha female.

(Where would madam like to eat today?)
..oh, under the big water tank, just kneel on the wet ground and place the dish in front of me. I’m going right to the back..
(Dish is placed under tank with care and wet knees)
..is that the only food you’ve got?..
(Several minutes pass. Human dispenses food for newly arrived visiting felines in the drive before approaching the tank)
..no don’t take the dish, I’m thinking about it..
(Ten seconds later – The Cat steps neatly over dish and goes to sit in one of the wooden greengrocer’s crates)
(Human retrieves the still-full dish from under the tank and places it in front of The Cat in her crate, jelly glistening in tempting fashion)
..is that the only food you’ve got?..
(No, but it’s your favourite, lovely jelly with special crunchy bits on the top)
(With zero warning, The Cat hurtles half way down garden and the sound of claws on wood is heard. Human tops up resident young male’s dish with fourth helpings of breakfast)
..I think I’ll jump onto the top of the tank now as the sun’s coming round. You may bring my dish to me..
(Human retrieves The Cat’s dish from crate and places it on top of tank, adding some more special crunchy bits as attractive garnish)
..is that the only food you’ve got?..
(Human refills garden water bowls before returning to tank)
..no don’t take the dish, I wish to stare at it for a while..
(A minute or two later – The Cat jumps down from the tank and takes up residence in another crate on the verandah, washing)
(Human sighs, takes dish from top of tank and divides The Cat’s special food between any visiting cats remaining in front drive as a treat. They can’t believe their luck)
(Five minutes later – sounds of splintering wood from further down the garden are a clue as to The Cat’s whereabouts)
(Human dispenses kibble into dishes for free feeding of resident and visiting cats during the day, and tops up existing diners’ dishes in the drive)
(Loud thud as The Cat arrives on the top of the tank – again)
..you may bring my dish to me now..
(Human scrapes some of visiting cats leftovers (not The Cat’s food of choice) into dish and brings it to the tank again, whilst pondering futility of it all)
..is that the only food you’ve got?..
(Yes it is now, the visiting cats say thank you for the special jelly breakfast, they really enjoyed it)
..I don’t think I like this food..
(The Cat stares, mournfully at her dish and accusingly at The Human)
..no don’t take the dish, I wish to stare at it for a while longer..
(Human dispenses the dessert course to any visiting felines still in the drive)
..no, don’t take it yet, I haven’t quite finished staring..
(Human disappears to wash visiting cats dishes before returning to collect The Cat’s dish)
..well I suppose that will have to do..
(Dish empty and sparkling clean)